Saturday, September 28, 2019


Did you bring the bleeze?
Who wants some choof-a-dee-doof?
Where’d you stash that hash?

Bitch please! This is all complete lunacy. Just pass the damn thing. Don’t even get us started on all the other inane asks out there, like “Should I name my bong Bubba?” (Hint: the red seas don’t have to part for that answer. And, hopefully, those thoughts never crossed your mind.)

To be clear, one obviously needs mondo clarity when pondering life’s big mysteries—and we’re talkin’ sativa-dominant strains that’ll have you hailin’ Mary [Jane] in no time. (Amen to that.) Want euphoric energy to tackle the creative tasks you’ve been ditchin’? Sour Diesel is stimulating, cerebral and keeps chiefs who cheef mentally focused. Looking to kickstart your day? Cinex produces mood-enhancing, stimulating effects that make it the perfect wake-and-bake strain. BAM. And BAM again.

OTOH, because of higher indica-vs-sativa ratios, a hybrid like OG Kush provides alertness with a relaxed body calm, so bring it on. Still in the weeds? Try Green Crack or Harlequin sativas, indica-dominant Zkittlez or hybrids such as Green Punch or Mother’s Helper.

What’s your go-to when y’a wanna get pumped? Tell us in the comments below. Looking for responses to our haiku quiz? (As if the snark-savvy didn’t already know.)

1. Of course, you big silly
2. Everyone—duh
3. A good stoner never reveals their source

Check out @weedmaps to find these or your fave strains and then schwomp the day’s foppery away with a big fat fatty. Like this post? Join our canna-fam—comment, follow, like, subscribe, share and help spread a bit of joie de weed. Visit for socials, videos and more blazin’ badassery!

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