HIGH-KU OF THE "ASK A STUPID QUESTION" DAY!

Did you bring the bleeze?

Who wants some choof-a-dee-doof?

Where’d you stash that hash?

Bitch please! This is all complete lunacy. Just pass the damn thing. Don’t even get us started on all the other inane asks out there, like “Should I name my bong Bubba?” (Hint: the red seas don’t have to part for that answer. And, hopefully, those thoughts never crossed your mind.)

To be clear, one obviously needs mondo clarity when pondering life’s big mysteries—and we’re talkin’ sativa-dominant strains that’ll have you hailin’ Mary [Jane] in no time. (Amen to that.) Want euphoric energy to tackle the creative tasks you’ve been ditchin’? Sour Diesel is stimulating, cerebral and keeps chiefs who cheef mentally focused. Looking to kickstart your day? Cinex produces mood-enhancing, stimulating effects that make it the perfect wake-and-bake strain. BAM. And BAM again.

OTOH, because of higher indica-vs-sativa ratios, a hybrid like OG Kush provides alertness with a relaxed body calm, so bring it on. Still in the weeds? Try Green Crack or Harlequin sativas, indica-dominant Zkittlez or hybrids such as Green Punch or Mother’s Helper.

What’s your go-to when y’a wanna get pumped? Tell us in the comments below. Looking for responses to our haiku quiz? (As if the snark-savvy didn’t already know.)

1. Of course, you big silly

2. Everyone—duh

3. A good stoner never reveals their source

Check out @weedmaps to find these or your fave strains and then schwomp the day’s foppery away with a big fat fatty. Like this post? Join our canna-fam—comment, follow, like, subscribe, share and help spread a bit of joie de weed. Visit blazingeisha.com for socials, videos and more blazin’ badassery!

HIGH-KU OF THE "SCHITT'S CREEK EMMY WIN" DAY!

Ewwww, David, puff puff,

Moira and Johnny get blitzed—

Alexis is dope!

So, um, forget Purple Mohawk Day, Jello Shot Day or one of those totally made-up, bullshit holidays only Hallmark would hawk. Today, Tinseltown's buzzed over the Emmy Awards and, in case you haven’t heard, it’s gonna be lit—as in hazed, blazed and totally dank. (The word "dank" alone is cause enough for celebration.) 

That’s because Dan Levy (aka, David Rose) and his Schitt’s Creek clan are the breakout stoner stars of this year’s party, so you better start passing that Prada bong. Misplaced it? No worries. Versace, Gucci or any luxury label will work in a pinch.

Catharine O'Hara, aka, fashionista-matriarch Moira Rose, might even quip, “Can any mere mortal honestly imaaagine how fashion-forwardly fetching a lovely leather-bound Anne Demeulemeester bong would be-ee-eee-eeee? The runways are simply atwitter... it’s this season’s must-have MUST-haaave. And it comes with a little lock—like a chastity belt for your bubbler. Funny, I've heard that before. Anyway, they just won't be able to KEEP them in the stores! I should knooowww." (Disclaimer: only Moira herself could actually pull off that first sentence.)

More importantly, what would the stylish Emmy nominee even wear to a kickass smoke sesh? "If I can impart any perspicacious piece of advice, let it be this: one must always choose the appropriate wig for smizzin' 'dat wizzo. Cinderella 99 is my go-to smoking bob because Mary Jane is a little too bitchy, a lit-tle too expected with her long, luxurious, carefree locks. Just the thought of such beauty being singed to a crisp is grounds for electro-shock therapy. I remember my first time... it's way too mess-ssy. All the tiny diamonds popped off my mani-ped-i. And we can’t have a repeat performance of tha-a-aa-aaat.” 

Lest we forget, along with the couture paraphernalia comes award-worthy weed. (The good Schitt?) We’ll take Hollywood OG for a $1,000, Alex-is. This heady, indica-dominant strain hits almost immediately, producing long-lasting, intensely relaxing, creativity-boosting highs with a tangy, floral-y aroma. Suits Johnny to a tee.

As everyone is now aware, David likes the “weed and not the strain” (indica, sativa and hybrids that are a little of both) and Alexis doesn’t just toke her way through life—she Chihuly-chooms through it with really nice pavé crystal-covered pipes. Each family member may have their preference, but might we suggest schwaggin' some bougie Beverly Hills OG before the big night? Rumored to have first been grown on a swanky 90210 rooftop, this indica-dominant hybrid is sure to have the entire town rolling off beds backwards à la Stevie.

The Roses have unconditionally won our hearts—regardless of their penchant for 24k rolling papers. Perhaps Netflix execs would consider adding Schitt’s-inspired varieties to their 2019 designer strain collection? Who wouldn’t want to hotbox with some “David Rose-G,” “A Little Bit A-La-La-La-La-La-La Alexis Kush,” “Johnny’s Dream” or “Moira Gold?” It certainly elevates the meaning of Netflix and chill. 

Being that their new digs are time-warped in a hamlet that out-Mayberry’s Mayberry itself, the pressing question is—which local yokel is their dealer? Mayor Roland Schitt (Chris Elliott) seems like a sure bet since he busted out the bud at the barn party but, as Moira would quip, "He's waaay too obvious. You could see it in his shifty little rat eyes a mile away." And we can't have any of tha-aa-aaa-at.

Want some ooey-gooey goodness while watching Schitt’s kick the other nominees to the curb? Check out @eaze and @leafly. Like this post? Join our canna-fam—comment, follow, like, subscribe, share and help spread some joie de weed. Visit www.blazingeisha.com for socials, videos and more blazin’ badassery!

©2019 NEYSA ENTERTAINMENT. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

HIGH-KU OF THE "BATMAN" DAY!

TOKIE DOKE DANK KNIGHT, 

HOLY BUBONIC CHRONIC—

GOTHAM GOES GANJA!

BAM! BHANG! BURN! Today the Caped Crusader is celebrating the big 8-0 and stoner fans couldn’t be more bat-faced. Numerous strains honor Bruce Wayne’s choof-a-doofin’ alter ego, so pick one, pack a big bowl and Cheef O’Hara the day away dreamin’ bout eight decades of campy bat bliss.

Lift spirits with Batman OG, a pungent, earthy indica that packs a euphoric, relaxing and very potent punch—or is it more of a total knockout? A few hits of this and you’ll be dancin’ the Batusi in no time. (You just may have to do it while horizontal on the couch.) Harness the clarity necessary to get through another day in Gotham with Sour Joker, a stimulating sativa that’ll have nug lovers climbing up the sides of skyscrapers in no time. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Want to improve your mood and combat fatigue while chillaxin’ at Wayne Manor? Try the berry-licious Batgirl, a sativa–dominant hybrid that shakes a pretty mean cape. (Cowl optional, but you do you.) Riddler OG (aka, “Power”) is a 50-50 indica-sativa hybrid sure to produce the ga-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-noobies, so be prepared. Keep the bat phone close by so Alfred can pick up pizza (or Haagen Dazs—or both) when the munchies hit.

Catwoman Kush doesn’t currently exist (hint, hint), but we envision it as a seriously seductive, heady little hybrid that’ll send shivers of ecstasy down your spine. And those come-f*ck-meeee-ow-me stilettos? That’s one “KAPOW!” we don’t wanna miss. (High or otherwise.)

Bat fans in the LA-area can check out @whisperweed for flower, edibles, concentrates, tinctures, topicals and more. Like this post? Join our canna-fam and comment, follow, like, subscribe, share and help spread some joie de weed. Visit www.blazingeisha.com for socials, videos and more bong-chonging badassery!

©2019 NEYSA ENTERTAINMENT. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

HIGH-KU OF THE "PUNCH" DAY!

Far from skunk-funky

Soarin’ on euphoria,

Pickswizzle ‘n’ chilllll.

Remember the adorably violent Punchy from vintage ‘60s Saturday morning kids’ drink commercials? “Hey, how’s about a nice Hawaiian Punch?” takes on a dank new meaning when referring to the Aloha State’s superstar sativa. With a spicy aroma, amped THC levels and its sweet, tropical flavor, this badass bud packs a potent, smooth, long-lasting high. 

Yessirree, the resulting psychedelic blast of creativity, focus and clarity will have you zinga-zonged for hours. Not to mention sexual prowess. Um… can you say, “Hey, how’s about a nice 10 rounds o' bumpin’ them uglies?” (Or somethin’ koochy-hoochy-rock-‘n’-roll like that.)

Now, we’re certainly not implying that the fruit-juicy kind of soused one experiences after gurgling gallons of this frat-party fave isn’t holiday-worthy in and of itself (we wouldn't dream of it), but seriously. Nothing compares. The perks from this amazing strain are beyond endless—without the hangover. Just the thought of schtupping your cute little Kamehameha off is pretty damn hot. And who doesn't want some o' dat?

So wake, bake and pack a bowl of Hawaii’s fave flower—you’ll be over the rainbow in no time. All day long. (Literally.) Visit @weedmaps for a dispensary near you or, if close to the San Diego area, stop by @mankind_dispensary and start celebrating this wack-a-doo day.

Like this post? Join our canna-fam and comment, follow, like, subscribe, share and help spread some joie de weed. Visit www.blazingeisha.com for socials, videos and more bong-chonging fun!

©2019 NEYSA ENTERTAINMENT. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

HIGH-KU OF THE “RICE KRISPIE TREAT” DAY!

Zap, krackle, plop this

Medible into y'er mouth

Nom, nom, flyin’ high!

Talk about breakfast of chong-pions! Make this sugary childhood treat a lot sticky-ickier by whipping up a batch infused with some Fruity Pebbles, a sweet, tropical-flavored Indica-dominant hybrid boasting Granddaddy Purple, Tahoe Alien and Green Ribbon ancestry. And that’s one ménage a trois that zinga-zonged its way to a verrrry happy ending.

But we digress. After a big, fat bong sesh, there’s no better—or more nostalgic—nosh for taming the munchies. Kinda like an old-fashioned “chaser.” Feeling ambitious? Bust out your trusty chef hat, a few simple ingredients (including the essential cannabutter) and have at it. You’ll find a variety of easy-shmeezy recipes destined to have you beaming like Bammy Crocker meets Leave It to Beaver. And nothin’ says lovin’ like extra “krispy” treats that even the hard-to-please Mikey would wanna throw down. 

New to baking edibles and prefer step-by-step instructions? Check out the ooey-gooey goodness over at Herb, with a vegan-friendly version available from Edibloom. Mangiare!

Like this post? Join our canna-family and comment, follow, like, subscribe, share and help spread some joie de weed. Visit blazingeisha.com for socials, videos and more bong-chonging badassery!

©2019 NEYSA ENTERTAINMENT. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

HIGH-KU OF THE “WIFE APPRECIATION” DAY!

Kiss the blushing blunt

She rolls? Wife that dank diva,

Mama saves the shake!

Nice day for a WEED WEDDING! Now that you’ve sealed the deal, grab the little missus and hit some Wedding Cake, a tangy, peppery, sour strain with super creamy notes kinda like, um, cake. Talk about ooey, gooey dank-deliciousness. 

Best part? (And you know there is one.) The Cherry Pie-and-Girl-Scout-Cookies marriage that spawned this Indica-dominant hybrid couldn’t have birthed a more amazeballs aphrodisiac. Its intense-yet-euphoric high will have her canoodlin’ daddy’s doobies (or mommy's but, either way, hopefully that’s you) and then some. Ohhhhhhh yeah. And mackin’ while cake-raked, er, rekindling love, is what this beautiful heartfelt holiday’s all about.

So whether you and your boo have reached the first or 50th anniversary, bringing her flowers of the toke-tastic kind is the ultimate symbol of hella-ppreciation. Remember, the couple that blazes together, stayzes together—just make sure there’s a pre-nup stating who gets custody of the bong.

Check out @nobleglass for wedding/anniversary bongs or @weedmaps to find Wedding Cake at a dispensary near you.

Like this post? Join our canna-fam and comment, follow, like, subscribe, share and help spread some joie de weed. Visit blazingeisha.com for socials, videos and more bong-chonging badassery!

©2019 NEYSA ENTERTAINMENT. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

HIGH-KU OF THE "FORTUNE COOKIES" DAY!

Crystal balls ‘n’ bud

We ain’t talkin’ subtle buzz,

Bake, bake, bake that green!

Welcome to our fave kind of holiday! This bitchin’ cookie strain is an auspicious hybrid of OG Kush and Girl Scout Cookies that’s dammmmm-mmmmmn good. And stoner foodies (stonoodies?) are in for an herbal, nutty, skunky sweet treat that kicks Thin Mint’s poser ass to the curb. After a big, fat bing-ting of this, you’ll be giggling, “Aren’t we the lucky ones?” Hint: Yes, yes we are.

Your fortune? “Three hits and major euphoria will send you soarin' in the extremely near future. You’re welcome.” Lucky Numbers: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (Chill. Flying solo = more weed for you. And who doesn't want that?)

Wanna whip up a batch o' fortune cookie bliss that’ll have you bakin’ in more ways than one? Check out the Weed Blog for recipes. PS: just make sure you don’t burn the house down ‘cuz you’re so dang hozed. Or simply visit @leafly for a dispensary near you.

Like this post? Join our canna-fam and comment, follow, like, subscribe and help spread some joie de weed. Visit blazingeisha.com for socials, videos and more bong-chonging badassery!

©2019 NEYSA ENTERTAINMENT. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

HIGH-KU OF THE “SWAP IDEAS” DAY!

Enlightenment buzz

Soar like nobody’s bidness,

Burn that dank fatty!

Here’s another big idea for you: SMOKE MORE WEED! Mwahahahaha. Being that history’s greatest minds would agree this concept is absolute brilliance, we’d have to charge you for another. But whatevs, can’t stop the little gems from flyin’ outta our mouths. Like… "pass the blunt, bitch" or "yabba that dabba." Exactly.

Want to flip the imagination switch to high frappé? We recommend a delicious twist o’ Kali Mist, Jack Herer and Chemdog to awaken y’er creative Krakken. Or try’em all at once to fully appreciate the sage sorcery behind Snoop’s “81 blunts a day… x 7.”

Check out High Times’ “Five Artists Who Smoke Weed” for more nug-lovin' genius. Like this post? Join our canna-fam and comment, follow, like, subscribe, share and help spread some joie de weed. Visit blazingeisha.com for socials, videos and more bong-chonging badassery!


©2019 NEYSA ENTERTAINMENT. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.